HE is always beside us!

    Amazing Grace how sweet the sound! O' how that song speaks to me. The last couple months at home has been overall great. I've had some tough days, but God gave me strength. Being a Christian doesn't mean we won't have a bad day. During times of trials and change we always have one thing that remains constant: God's love and HIS word:  It will never run out and is always 100% TRUE.
       Since I've been home I've been seeing an amazing nutritionist. I have to write down everything I eat and how much I exercise. She is actually the one who pushed me to go to inpatient. I've also continued seeing my Christian therapist. I enjoy going to see her and talking things out. Also, my primary care Dr. has been awesome. She has been there with me the last 10 yrs. She said the sweetest prayer for me when I left last time. I have NO Doubt GOD put all these wonderful Dr.'s in my life. It's not coincidence that 10 yrs ago I found my Dr.'s name. I had no clue who she was...but God knew that I would need her. God knew I would need the nutritionist that I have as well. He makes NO mistakes!
     A perfect example of how God makes no mistakes is when God didn't answer my prayer last Spring. I was getting married and my husband owns a house where he works and the Christian school I have always wanted to work at was right down below his house. He even went to college with the Principal! I applied and we  began to pray daily about it. I hardly ever check my email, but I did and low and behold I got an email from the principal asking me to come in for an interview that next week!! I was unreal excited! Not only did GOD allow me to work at the school The school I prayed to work at after college, but HE was for sure going to answer my prayer about working there!!! However, that's not what he had planned. I went for the interview (which couldn't have went better) for a 3rd grade position. I really didn't want 3rd grade, but I thought I was take it if offered because my heart wanted to work there. However, during the interview the principal said there was a new K position open!! What?!? God, WOW, you are soooo good!! Well, I waited a week and then......I got an email saying they decided to give the job to someone else. I was a crushed! I called my husband at 2 in the morning crying and crying...(we had hung out that night until 12 and he was on his way home). Why Lord? Anyways, like I said, God makes NO mistakes! So, knowing I was going to be teaching another yr here, we had to start house looking in my town. We had looked EVERYWHERE and just couldn't seem to find the right place. Then one Sunday afternoon I had one of my favorite (yeah, I thought I'd never have favorites, but I admit I do...but love ALL of them) students on my mind. Her mom and dad are coaches at my college and know lots of people. I decided to text them and ask if they knew a house for rent. Well, it just so happened that same day they were discussing about selling/renting their house!! :) So, once again God opened the doors for us and we have such a great home to live in. I live right beside of about 4 teachers that I work with! Also, we didn't really know at the beginning of marriage I would need to go inpatient or be struggling like I was. But God did! He knew I would need the insurance I did. Without it we wouldn't have been able to get me the help I needed. If I got the job at the Christian school, I wouldn't have made as much money or got the insurance I have here. We wouldn't have been able to afford any help.  Also, HE knew I would never be able to open up to another Dr. about my problems. It took 10 yrs to admit it to the one I have!! He knew I would need the people I work with and the church I have to get me through it. So....I've learned once again that HIS PLAN is PERFECT!
     Knowing His plan is perfect, I have to remember that since I just found out that it is going to be hard to have children. I recently just went to see an obgyn(who is amazing and God allowed me to somehow get in to see her even though they had no opening until 3 months! It just so happened that the day I called, a cancellation happened! Thank u Lord! ). Anyways, I've met with her 3 times now and I've had all kinds of lab work done, many tests/procedures and the results were not what I wanted to here. I knew I had done LOTS of damage on my body over the years, but she even said that the problem was not from the eating disorder. It's just how my body is. So, I'm having to trust God to see what he has in store for me. It's hard. But God might want it to be hard because He wants me to give him my all...."lean not on your own understanding" he says. His way is perfect so I will just keep my running shoes on and keep going day by day and mile by mile to see what that plan is. :)

Dear Lord, even though I don't know what your plan is, I know you are making beauty from these ashes. I know there is a purpose and meaning in everything. I will surrender to you. Thank you Father that I don't have to be the old woman I use to be. I have a new life that is soo free and I feel redeemed. Lord, may you keep me in your will and lead me. Use me Lord to bring you glory to your name. Thank you Father for caring about the things that concern me and that you listen...and answer in a way that is perfect.

1 Corinthians 1:2 You have been made holy in Christ Jesus.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast ALL your cares upon him, for he cares for you.