The beginning

Today was the first day of treatment. I was unreal nervous all day long. However, I was excited a little because I know I one day closer to being happy and healthy. My husband picked me at 3:00 and we drove to the treatment center. My heart was racing the whole way! It was like I really was running a race. I do believe this race will be harder than any I've ever ran...even tougher than the marathons  I've ran. When we got to the building to walk in...I started getting teary eyed due to fear. What will they think of me? What will they make me do?....I even stood at the door and told my husband I wasn't going in. I wouldn't have if I didn't have him with me!!! The people there were very welcoming. We got a tour and had a sign a TON of paperwork. I started getting overwhelmed. Then, when I signed the paper about the date I will exit...I cried. I had thought this whole time I would be done by Dec. But, I won't be done until mid Feb! I left sad cause I just don't know if I can do this..but I have an awesome husband and an amazing Father who will carry me when I can't go. God knew exactly the kind of husband I would need...I couldn't ask for more!!
 My little brother is always trying to encourage me. At the lowest point of my day, he sent me a picture of a lady with jogging stroller  with her baby about to go for a run. I want that!!!  It's awful that as much as I want kids that I continue to do harm to my body.  I know my body is a temple and  The Lord has given me the ability to  run like I do.  I want to be able to run years and years from now. I'd love to be able to run with my grandchildren one day. But, I may not even be able to have children do to my sickness. And all I have to do is eat healthy, and not binge and purge! Sounds easy, but not for me.
 As my psychologist appointment, she was asking about my family. I was telling her about my little brother and how I've seen God work a miracle in his life.  About 5 try's ago he got really sick. No Dr could figure out what was wrong. We were told he had cancer, multiple times. He was told he had  celiac disease, a tumor...and so many other things. However, no DR. Could figure out what it really was. We went all other country trying to seek the best help for him...but the Dr's told my mom we are sorry, we don't know. However, God did!!! Through the power of prayer and the healing hand of God, he was healed. He is now serving God at Virginia Tech  and going to be a physical therapist. He wants to give  others hope. I know he has given me so much encouragement over my life. I also know that the same God that healed my brother, can heal me!!
         You O' lord are the  one who conquers giants. You shut the mouth of lions.. You call the dead to breathe. You are the one who walks on fire. You take the orphans hands.  So....I know Lord I can do this with you. Help me Lord see my worth in you. I am your child. Thank you...thank you. Thank you.